Being a 2nd Impression Girl

“We judge others instantly by their clothes, their cars, their appearance, their race, their education, their social status. The list is endless. What gets me is that most people decide who another person is before they have even spoken to them. What’s even worse is that these same people decide who someone else is, and don’t even know who they are themselves.” – Ashly Lorenzana

Being single for over a year, a girlfriend of mine asked me to set her up with one of my guy friends. After narrowing down a guy that could potential be a good fit for her, a friend of our commented that she wasn't sure if she was his type, to which my friend said, “We’ll see, ‘cause I’m a 2nd or 3rd impression kind of girl.” This got me thinking. All my life, I've wanted to be a 1st impression girl, the type who attracts the boys at first glance. I looked around at my girlfriends in fancy clothes and make-up on and thought, “Crap!” Not as if I didn't already know it, but I am definitely a 2nd, 3rd, or even 4th impression kind of girl. I’m not grotesque or anything, but I feel like I’m the kind of girl a guy needs to get to know before he can feel truly attracted. At first, this realization got me down, but then I realized something, there is nothing wrong with that!



For most of our lives, we are told that 1st impressions count. And it’s true. People actually judge you within the first second of meeting you and their opinion is likely to never change, especially in a business or impersonal relationship. You only get one shot at a first impression, so it is incredibly important. So, what does that mean for those who are the 2nd or 3rd impression kind of people?

Most of the time, we put so much weight on the 1st impression because we assume that that is all that counts. Here’s the less glamorous, less talked about truth: 1st impressions count but 2nd impressions are what really matter. The 2nd impression is actually more important than the 1st. While a 1st impression sets the tone for a relationship, it does not define its boundaries or potential. A guy may not have decided to make babies with you after the first meeting, but that doesn't immediately mean that you’re in the rejected pile. It’s during the 2nd impression that people are more open to sit down and get to know you. There is less pretense and tension, so people are more relaxed at this meeting, ready to dig deep into who you really are. The idea is that a judgment has already been made, so another one is not needed unless you do or say something stupid.

The truth is that during the 2nd impression people are looking for connection, value, and empathy, and that is seriously what matters more than looks, bling, cars, and swag. So, do not worry about being a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th impression person. The best relationships are built on so much more than 1st impressions; they’re built on 2nd chances and double takes. Just let yourself shine at every impression, because you are wonderful the way you are.